To Dance
by Tina101
Summary: Mimi would do anything for Roger, even risk her life to be perfect for him. Bad summary, sorry!
1. Chapter 1

_To Dance_

**Chapter 1:**

Mimi sat at her station putting on her makeup. All around her were dancers in various states of dress. Mimi couldn't help but stare. These girls were rail thing; she felt a pang of jealousy deep down inside of her. The door to the dressing room opened.

"Marquez, you're up!" the manager barked. Mimi got up and grabbed her kimono off the hook next to her station; the joys of being a dancer.

By the time Mimi got to the loft, the only light came from her and Roger's room. Mimi tossed her purse on the couch and quietly crept into the room. Roger was sprawled out on their bed with the floor lamp on. Mimi got changed, turned off the light and literally fell into bed. Roger rolled over.

"You're home," he muttered sleepily. Mimi gave him a quick kiss.

"Yeah, sorry I woke you." Roger slid over and rested his head on Mimi's chest.

"Don't worry about it." Mimi stroked Roger's hair until they were both fast asleep in each other's arms.

By the time Mimi got up the next morning, Roger was already awake. He knew to be quiet in the morning. Mimi rolled over. She could smell something cooking in the kitchen. She crawled out of bed and looked at the mirror hanging on the back of the door. She was starting to slowly lose her small figure; she was _nothing_ like the girls she worked with. What would it hurt to drop a few pounds?

When Mimi emerged from her room, Collins was standing at the counter making something on the hotplate.

"Morning babe," Roger said from where he was sitting at the table with Mark.

"Morning," Mimi mumbled before giving Roger a kiss.

"Meems, you want a pancake?" Collins asked. Mimi slipped into an empty seat at the table.

"A small one, please." Mimi rested her head on Roger's shoulder and closed her eyes.

"Rough night?" Mark asked her. Mimi nodded. "Then why work so many late shifts?"  
"I _would_ say because we need the money, but obviously we don't if we can afford pancakes," Mimi replied somewhat bitterly.

"Don't get used to it, Meems," Collins said as he handed Mimi a plate with a pancake on it. "It's only a small luxury of Bohemia." Mimi cut off a small piece of her pancake and ate it. Collins had made her a bigger pancake than she had wanted. She'd had to watch what she ate from now on.

**A/N:** Short I know, sorry! Check out my original story, link on my profile, it's called "On the Set".

HAPPY BELATED 36TH BIRTHDAY IDINA, WE ALL LOVE YOU!!!

Tina101


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

Squeezing her eyes shut, Mimi stepped up on the scale. She slowly opened her eyes and looked down. Good, she had lost seven pounds. That was pretty good.

"Mimi, are you okay in there?" Roger asked. Mimi's head shot up.

"Yeah, I'm, uh, fine," Mimi said quickly.

"Okay," Roger said reluctantly. Mimi unlocked the door and emerged from the bathroom. "Hey, what were you doing in there?"

"Nothing." Mimi tried to wrap her arms around Roger, but he pulled away.

"I've gotta get going; Collins, Mark and I are going out for a few drinks." Mimi scowled.

"That's right, guys' night out. Have fun." Roger kissed Mimi's cheek softly.

"Maybe you could get together with Maureen or something," he suggested. Mimi wrapped her arms around herself. Roger gave her another kiss on the forehead.

"I think I'll just stay in and relax tonight."

"Okay, that's fine. I'll be back later on tonight. Try not to have too much fun without me." Mimi cracked a small smile.

"I'll try." Roger grabbed his jacket off the couch. Without another word, he left with Mark to go meet Collins at the Life.

Mimi was about to make herself a bowl of soup when she remembered how Roger had acted towards her. He was probably _disgusted_ with her. Those seven pounds weren't enough; she'd have to drop a few more to be skinny enough for Roger.

As Roger walked back to the loft with Mark and Collins, he couldn't help but feel bad about how he had blown Mimi off. She was his girlfriend, and he had to treat her like it!

"Earth to Roger!" Collins called. "You with us here man?" roger nodded.

"Yeah, sorry; I was thinking about Mimi, I kinda blew her off earlier."

"Then make it up to her," Mark said simply with a shrug.

"But do it _quietly_," Collins pleaded as he draped an arm over Roger's shoulders. "You remember what it was like when Mark and Maureen had a little late night fun." Mark turned bright red. Collins reached over and ruffled his hair. "I'm just playing with you boy." Rolling his eyes, Mark continued to walk down the street.

When Collins slid open the loft door, Mimi was curled up on the couch flipping through a magazine. She looked up when the door opened.

"Glad to see that you three made it home safely," she commented. Roger flopped down by her feet.

"We're fully capable of getting home on our own after a few drinks," he defended. Mimi snorted. "What!?"

"You keep telling yourself that boy. Remember a few months ago when I got that call from the Life?"

"So a man gets a little drunk-"

"Roger, you weren't drunk, you were _wasted_," Collins said. Mimi rounded on him.

"You're one to talk!" she exclaimed. "You two were both wasted. Mark and I had to get both your sorry asses back here safely." Roger leaned over and hovered above Mimi.

"But you love me anyway." Mimi squirmed under Roger.

"The jury's still out."

"Oh really?" Roger began to kiss Mimi's neck. Collins got up from where he was draped across a chair.

"And that's our cue to go to bed," he said to Mark. Nobody needed to tell him twice. "Remember what I said earlier about the noise." Roger was too busy with kissing Mimi to respond. Collins and Mark both retreated to their rooms for the night.

When Mark finally came out of his room the following morning, he saw Roger and Mimi sprawled out on the couch with only a blanket over them. At least they had that blanket. Roger and Mimi had _some_ shame about exposing their bodies once in a while. If they were caught in a position much like this one, they wouldn't flip out. It was like living with Maureen again; only Maureen would walk from the bathroom to her and Mark's room…stark naked.

Mark got himself a cup of coffee and leaned against the counter next to Collins. Collins was staring at the floor, brows furrowed in deep concentration.

"Should I be worried?" Mark asked. Collins' head snapped up.

"Huh?"

"You have that look on your face, what're you thinking?" Collins nodded towards Mimi.

"Does she look skinnier to you?" he asked. Mark stopped to think.

"A little bit, but I wouldn't worry. You remember how April was. She was always loosing and gaining weight." Collins faced Mark.

"That's because she was bulimic." Collins shrugged. "I dunno, maybe it's just me." Roger shifted but remained fast asleep on top of Mimi. Mark looked at Mimi; it wasn't just Collins.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

Mimi stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom. Her face looked abnormally pale. Dark circles were also starting to appear under her eyes. Mimi grabbed a bottle of foundation from her makeup bag to even out her skin tone some. She didn't want Roger to worry about her; she could take care of herself. Mimi smeared the makeup over her face; it only helped a little. Mimi finished up and went out to the other room.

Roger was plucking out "Muzetta's Waltz" on his guitar when Mimi came out of the bathroom. He noticed that she looked a little paler than usual.

"Hey baby," he said. Mimi sat on the window seat and drew her knees to her chest. Roger stood up. "You don't look so hot, are you okay?" Mimi nodded.

"I'm fine," she said. Roger went over and felt her forehead.

"You look kinda pale." Mimi pushed Roger away.

"I said that I'm fine," she snapped through clenched teeth.

"Okay, I'm sorry." Roger leaned over and kissed Mimi's cheek. "I love you." He pressed his forehead against hers for a second before going back to his guitar.

When Mark and Collins got back from picking up AZT from the clinic, Mimi was still curled up on the window seat. Mark noticed that she looked off.

"You alright, Meems?" he asked. Mimi leaped to her feet.

"Oh my fucking God, will everyone _please_ stop asking me that!?" she demanded before storming off to her and Roger's room and slamming the door behind her. Mark looked at Roger.

"What did I do?" he asked. Roger shrugged.

"She snapped at me earlier," he replied. "I think she's PMSing or something." Collins lit up a joint.

"And that's why I date guys." Roger rolled his eyes.

"Sure it is, Thomas," he joked. Mark snickered. Collins whacked them both upside the head. "Why hide the truth?"

"Fuck off, Davis," Collins said before going out on the fire escape to finish off his joint in peace.

About an hour later, Roger went to go check on Mimi. She was lying on her stomach with her eyes close. Roger noticed how her shoulder blades stuck out sharply. He went over and rubbed Mimi's thin back. Her eyes opened partially and she rolled over.

"Hey," Roger said. "Sorry I woke you." Mimi reached up and fixed Roger's hair.

"It's fine. If you hadn't woken me up, I'd probably be up all night." Roger sat cross-legged on the bed.

"I've got an idea. Say you get changed, and we go out for dinner somewhere." Mimi sat up.

"Like on a date?"

"Yeah, come on. When's the last time we were out on a _real_ date, without everyone else?" Mimi stopped to think.

"I'm honestly not that hungry. It's so nice out; can we just go for a walk in the park?" Roger kissed Mimi's cheek softly.

"Whatever you want." Mimi smiled. She liked the soft side of Roger that he tried to hide, it made her feel special.

"Lemme get changed, and we'll go." Mimi climbed out of bed and began to look for something to wear.

Roger and Mimi walked through the park, fingers entwined. Mimi rested her head against Roger's arm. She liked to feel close to him. Roger kissed the top of her head.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too," Mimi murmured. Roger stopped walking.

"What's wrong?" Roger stroked Mimi's cheek. "You sound tired." Mimi leaned away from Roger's touch.

"I'm getting a headache, that's all," she replied. Roger looked concerned.

"Do you want to go home?" Mimi shook her head.

"No, it's fine; you wanted to go out on a date. I'm fine, it's just a headache." Roger looked reluctant. "We'll go home if you want."

"Yeah, let's go home; I'm worried about you." Roger and Mimi began to walk back towards the loft.

Outside the loft, Roger pressed Mimi up against the wall and began to kiss her. Mimi put her hands on Roger's hips. His hands framed her face. In the back on her mind, Mimi figured that Roger was now happy with her weight.

After having some fun out in the hallway, Roger and Mimi went inside the loft. All the Bohemians were gathered around talking. Mimi's thoughts of being skinny enough quickly shattered when she saw Maureen in a shirt that was barley more than a sports bra.

"Jesus Christ, Mo, it's only sixty degrees outside!" Roger exclaimed. Maureen shrugged.

"I have a jacket," she reasoned. Collins rolled his eyes. Mimi kissed Roger's cheek.

"I'm gonna go to bed, this headache is pretty bad," she told him. "Goodnight you guys." There were several goodnights, and Mimi went to bed.

Maureen stretched out across the couch. She rested her head in Collins' lap and her feet in Joanne's lap. Collins reached over and tickled Maureen. Maureen let out a squeal and rolled onto her side.

"Not cool, Collins," she whined.

"Quit your complaining girl," Collins shot back. "It's your own fault for wearing shirts like that and tempting me." Maureen rolled onto her back and stuck out her tongue. Joanne patted her leg.

"Keep it down, Honeybear, Mimi's trying to sleep." Maureen rubbed Joanne's thigh with her bare foot.

"Tell that to Collins, not me," she argued as she rolled onto her stomach.

"God, could you _please_ stop wiggling?" Collins pleaded. Maureen rested her head on her folded arms on Collins' thigh.

"Okay, I'm good now." Collins sighed. By now he was used to Maureen's behavior.

Roger stared out into space; he was starting to get worried about Mimi. It seemed like her health was starting to deteriorate right in front of him again. Roger vowed to get to the bottom of Mimi's odd behavior before it was too late.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

Mimi sat on the window seat staring out the window at the street below. Roger sat down across from her.

"We're going to leave for the Life in about twenty minutes," he said. Mimi looked up.

"You guys go ahead, I don't feel like going," she said.

"Come on, baby, you've been in this…mood for a few weeks now. I'm worried about you."  
"Don't be, I'm fine."

"Then come to the Life with us for dinner." Mimi shook her head.

"I'm not really that hungry." Roger sighed.

"What's with this new, 'I'm not that hungry' thing? You're barely eating anything anymore." Mimi stood up.

"I eat," she assured. "You just never see me, because you're always busy." Roger stood up too.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just concerned about you."

"Don't be, I'm a big girl."

"Then please come out to the Life with us."

"Fine, I'll go to the Life with you guys if you'll stop busting my ass!" With that, Mimi stormed off to her room.

Later that evening, all the Bohemians were gathered at the Life. The waiter served everyone their food.

"Mimi, where's your food?" Joanne asked.

"I'm not really that hungry, I'm just going to eat off Roger's plate." Roger kept his mouth shut; he wasn't in the mood to get into another fight with Mimi in front of everyone. Mimi was very touchy right now for some reason.

All evening, Mimi picked French fries off Roger's plate; she even had a bite of his veggie burger once. Mimi kept to herself most of the evening. If someone said something to her, she'd say as little as possible in response. Most of the evening, she was curled up against Roger with her eyes closed; she really didn't feel well.

Finally, Roger stood up. He dug a wad of crumpled bills out of his pockets and tossed them on the table.

"Come on, Meems, let's go home," he said. Mimi stood up too. "See you all later."

"Bye you guys," Mimi said with a small wave. Roger wrapped his arm around her waist. He didn't say anything to Mimi on the way home, all he kept thinking about was how weird she's been acting. Mimi chewed on her bottom lip. She could sense that something was wrong with Roger. He probably thought that she was _so _fat!

Mimi sat up in bed. The moonlight shining through the window cast a pale glow over Roger's sleeping form. Mimi rubbed her leg; it felt like it was asleep. Mimi leaned back against the wall and flexed her leg carefully so she didn't wake Roger. It took a few minutes, but the pins and needles feeling finally subsided. Mimi lay back down and went back to sleep.

Roger opened his eyes. He had felt Mimi sit up for a few minutes and move around uncomfortably before lying back down. Roger reached over and wrapped his arm around Mimi. She seemed to relax in his arms and cuddled closer to him. Roger buried his face in her hair and kissed the back of her head. In her sleep, Mimi put her hand over Roger's.

"I love you," he whispered before drifting off to sleep with Mimi in his arms.

**A/N:** Sorry about the chapter being so short!

Tina101


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

Mimi sat cross-legged on her bed flipping through a magazine. She had to leave for work in less than an hour. There was a knock on the bedroom door.

"Come in," Mimi said. Collins opened the door and sat on the bed across from Mimi. "Hey Collins."

"Hey yourself." Collins shifted. "Listen, Angel's birthday is coming up in two weeks." Mimi nodded.

"I know," she said quietly.

"I was thinking that maybe you and I could go down to the cemetery together or something." Mimi shrugged. Her eyes shifted down to the magazine in her lap. Staring up at her as if mocking her was a girl in a bikini. A tear slid down Mimi's cheek. "What's wrong?"

"Everything, everything's wrong! I feel like I'm losing control." None of this was making sense to Collins at the moment.

"Losing control of what?" Mimi shook her head.

"Nothing, it's nothing," she said.

"Mimi, hun, talk to me."

"I can't, you'd _never_ understand what's going on! You'd never understand," Mimi sobbed. Collins gave Mimi a comforting hug.

"It's okay, Meems." Mimi pulled away from Collins.

"I should start getting ready for work." Collins reluctantly stood up.

"Are you okay?" Mimi leaned back against the wall.

"I _really_ wish that people would stop asking me that."

"We're all worried about you."

"Don't be, I'm fine."

"Okay. I'll let you get ready for work." Collins left Mimi to get ready. He couldn't figure out where her little break down had come from.

Mimi sat down at her station trying desperately to cover up the dark circles under her eyes. It seemed like the circles were getting darker and darker with each passing day. Mimi's friend, Lena, slid into the seat next to her. Lena was from the South Pacific and had a beautiful complexion and a perfectly round face.

"Ready for another shift in hell?" she joked. Mimi cracked a small smile.

"Try and find me someone who is," she retorted.

"Excellent point." Mimi stood up. She seemed to stop and sway for a second before grabbing her robe and facing Lena.

"Let's go." Lena grabbed her own robe and followed Mimi out to the floor.

Mimi spun around sensually on the floor. She knew how to move her body to please her audience. Mimi slowed down slightly. She was starting to feel lightheaded. She figured that it was from all the smoke. It didn't help that the tech guys had turned on some of those damn fog machines. Mimi slowed down and began to sway. Lena focused her attention on Mimi when she saw this. Mimi kept sway, this couldn't be good. Suddenly, it felt like the floor was tilting. Mimi's head was spinning. The next thing she knew was darkness.

Lena rushed forward when she saw Mimi pass out. The dancers and several of the men in the audience rushed to Mimi's side. The bouncers all pulled the men back into the audience.

"Give her space!" Lena ordered. "And someone get me her robe to cover her up!" Someone handed Lena Mimi's robe. One of the bouncers gently picked up Mimi's limp form and carried her backstage. Lena followed him. The bouncer carefully laid Mimi down on a line of plastic chairs. Lena knelt down by Mimi's head.

"Mimi, honey, can you hear me?" she cooed. Mimi moaned. "Mimi, can you hear my voice?" Slowly, Mimi opened her eyes.

"What, what happened?" she mumbled.

"You passed out." Mimi sat up. "Whoa, slow down. Maybe I should call Roger to come and get you." Mimi shook her head.

"No, not after that Christmas, he'll just get all worked up over nothing." Lena sighed. Out of nowhere, the manager appeared behind her. His big, bulky form blocked out most of the light coming from the floor.

"Lena, take her home," he ordered. "Marquez, you're on leave for two weeks so you can get your act together."

"Yes sir," both Lena and Mimi muttered at the same time. Lena helped Mimi to her feet and steered her towards the dressing room.

The dressing room was completely deserted. Mimi simply pulled on her jeans and shirt over her work clothes; she didn't feel like getting changed.

Lena handed her an apple and said, "Here, eat this."

"I'm fine," Mimi insisted. Lena pressed the cool apple into Mimi's thin hands.

"No you're not, you look _really_ pale. I don't think that the bohemian lifestyle is agreeing with you, sweetie."

"Don't worry about me."

"I'll stop worrying with you when you stop looking like the living dead. Now, eat that apple while I get changed." Mimi took a bite of the apple to satisfy Mimi. The piece of fruit felt like dead weight in her stomach.

One Lena had gotten changed, she lead Mimi to Avenue B. The entire way, Mimi insisted that she could get home on her own.

Lena came to a stop outside Mimi's building and said, "There, was that so bad?" Mimi sighed.

"I guess not." Lena gave Mimi a hug and kissed her cheek in a friendly manner.

"Feel better, I'll call you later. Bye."

"Bye." Mimi gave Lena a small wave and went up to the loft.

Roger was surprised when the loft door slid open. He, Collins and Mark were all sitting around playing chess.

"Hey honey, you're home early," Roger said. Mimi nodded slightly.

"I didn't feel well, so they let me come home early," she replied meekly. Roger stood up. Mimi seemed really spacey.

"You okay baby?" he asked.

"I'm _fine_," Mimi snapped.

"You look pretty pale, why don't you have a sandwich or something?" Mark suggested.

"I ate at work. Lena and I split some takeout." Roger looked reluctant to listen to Mimi. "It's true! I ate at work!"

"Okay, okay, sorry. You should probably go to bed, you look wiped." Roger gave Mimi a tender kiss. He could sense that something was wrong. Mimi pulled away from Roger.

"Goodnight," she muttered.

"Night." Roger gave Mimi another kiss on the cheek and watched her retreat to their bedroom for the night.

Mimi changed into a set of Roger's sweats and curled up in bed. She couldn't figure out why she was so cold, it was mid-April for God's sake! Mimi pulled the blankets tighter around her shivering form. She was exhausted. It didn't take long before she was fast asleep.

The next thing Mimi knew, sunlight was streaming through the window. Mimi pulled the blankets up over her head; she wasn't ready to get up. She felt kind of off. Mimi rolled onto her stomach and closed her eyes. She didn't care if it was really late, she was still pretty tired.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6:**

Mimi stuffed the small box deeper in her purse as if wishing it would fall through the bottom and disappear on the crowded street along with all her problems. Her hands were shaking pretty badly. Mimi dashed up the rickety stairs to the loft. She passed by her old apartment. A small smile crept across her face. She had so many memories from that place. Mimi started walking again, she had work to do.

Mimi followed the directions on the box. How could something so simple mean so much? Mimi peed on the stick and waited. All she could do was sit on the toilet with her head in her hands. Finally, time was up. Mimi picked up the test. All she could do was think about the worst-case scenario. Mimi looked at the pregnancy test; it was negative. Mimi let out a breath of relief. She actually had tears in her eyes. She wasn't ready to be a mother yet. Now, perhaps even scarier than being pregnant right now was why her period had stopped.

After Mimi had safely discarded the pregnancy test, she went to her room. She needed some help to figure out what was wrong with her, and she could only think of one person who could help her. She locked the door to her room and grabbed the phone off the floor next to the bed. Mimi dialed the number to Joanne's office.

"Joanne Jefferson's office," her secretary said.

"Is Joanne there?" Mimi asked.

"She's busy, can I take a message?"

"This is her friend, Mimi; can you please tell her that I'm on the phone? It's an emergency." Mimi didn't feel bad about telling the secretary this, it _could_ be an emergency. The secretary sighed.

"Okay, hold on for one second please." Mimi leaned back against the bed and closed her eyes. The seconds seemed to crawl by until Joanne picked up the phone.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Jo, its Mimi." Joanne picked up on how shaken Mimi sounded.

"What's wrong, Meems?"  
"I need you to do me a _huge_ favor. My period's a week and a half late, but I'm not pregnant. Could you do some research on the computer to find out what's wrong with me?"

"Of course sweetie, but why don't you just go down to the clinic?"

"You know how Roger is; he'll quarantine me if he finds out!"  
"Okay, okay, I'll do some research tonight and bring it to you tomorrow." There was a knock on Mimi's door.

"You okay, Mimi?" Mark asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Mimi replied. Her voice was weak and shaky.

"You sure?"

"I said I'm fine!" Mimi exclaimed hotly.

"Okay, sorry." Mimi turned her attention back to Joanne on the phone.

"I have to go, Mimi, but I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye." Mimi hung up the phone but stayed on the floor. she was really scared about what was wrong with her.

Later that night, Joanne was pouring over the information for Mimi she had gotten. A lot of the diagnosis's required a medical background. Maureen came skipping into the room.

"Whatcha doin', Pookie?" she asked brightly as she grabbed one of the thin packets of information. "This is some scary shit. Is it for a case or something?" Joanne shook her head.

"It's for Mimi."

"What's wrong with her?"

"Her period's stopped, and she's really stressed out about it."

"Is she pregnant!?" Maureen asked happily.

"The test said no, so she called me." Maureen continued to read over the packets of information. "None of these sound like Mimi," Joanne grumbled. Maureen picked up another packet.

"Moodiness, massive weight loss, paleness, sunken in eyes, cessation of period," she read. Joanne looked up. "Depression and withdrawal from friends and loved ones."

"That sounds exactly like Mimi, what is it?" Maureen looked at what it was. She seemed hesitant to tell Joanne. "Honeybear, what is it?"

"It's anorexia." Joanne reached across the table and took the paper from Maureen. She quickly scanned it over. She shook her head.

"Mimi's too smart to do something like this to herself." Maureen slid onto Joanne's lap.

"But this is exactly how she's acting," she defended. "We need to get Mimi help."

"First, we need to talk to her when we go to the loft tomorrow." Maureen leaned against Joanne. It scared her that something this serious could be wrong with Mimi.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:**

Mimi moaned with pleasure. Roger's lips moved farther down her body. Mimi tried with all her might to enjoy what Roger was doing to her. However, in the back of her mind she couldn't help but fear what he thought of her fat body.

Whenever Roger and Mimi had sex, it was rough. That was just how they were. This time though, Roger was extra careful. The usual fight for power was replaced with Roger being as gentle as possible. The unusually frail body of Mimi's really worried him.

The next morning, Roger woke up to see Mimi searching for something to wear. He crawled out of bed and pulled on a pair of boxers. When he saw Mimi, he was horrified. He could clearly see every single one of her ribs. Sure Mimi had always been skinny, you could see a few of her ribs if she bent the right way, but it had never been this bad. Roger went over and grabbed Mimi's arm roughly.

"Roger, what the hell are you doing?" Mimi demanded.

"I want to see something," Roger replied. He literally dragged Mimi out to the bathroom. She was only in a bra and jeans.

"Roger Davis you get your fucking hands off of me!" Mimi shrieked. Mark and Collins looked up from what they were doing and stood up. "You get your hands off me!" Roger rounded on Mimi. His face was as red as hers.

"I want to see something," he said through clenched teeth. Roger started dragging Mimi to the bathroom again. He stopped next to the scale. "Get on," he ordered. Mimi looked horrified.

"What?"

"You heard me, get on the God damn scale!"

"No!" Roger grabbed Mimi's upper arms and shook her slightly. He was now seething.

"Damn it woman, will you listen to me!? I'm just trying to help you!" Mimi pushed Roger away.

"Then let me go!" Caught up in the heat of the moment, Roger shoved Mimi back. Shocked, Mimi stumbled backwards.

"Roger!" Collins exclaimed from the doorway where he and Mark were standing. Mimi shoved past them. Blinded by tears, she stumbled over to the window and huddled on the window seat. "What's your problem man?" Collins asked.

"I, I don't know," Roger stammered. "I just, I mean…God I've fucked up."

"Don't tell us, tell your girlfriend," Mark said. Roger slipped between him and Collins to go talk to Mimi.

Mimi was huddled on the window seat shivering. She felt someone wrap a blanket around her frail body.

"Mimi," Roger started.

"Don't touch me," Mimi growled. Roger put his hand on her thin shoulders.

"Please Meems-"

"Roger Davis, I told you to get your hands off me! I don't want anything to do with you right now." Sighing, Roger left Mimi to do her own thing.

When Maureen and Joanne got to the loft, Mimi was still on the window seat with the blanket from Roger pulled tight around her.

"Hey Meems," Maureen chirped. She couldn't let Mimi know that she knew what she was doing to herself. Mimi looked up and smiled weakly. Her beeper went off.

"Mark, do you know where my AZT is?" she asked.

"Right here," Collins replied from the kitchen area. Mimi got up and trudged over to the kitchen. Everyone noticed how shaky she was. After she took her medicine, Mimi clung to the table. "You okay?" Collins asked. Mimi nodded.

"Yeah, I'm just a little dizzy and lightheaded," she replied weakly. She took a few steps and stopped. Her blanket fell to the ground.

"Mimi?" Joanne asked with a concerned tone. "Mimi?" Mimi's eyes rolled to the back of her head. Her knees gave out, and she crumpled to the ground. "Mimi!" Everyone leapt to their feet. Collins got to Mimi first. He carefully rolled Mimi over. He let out a breath of relief.

"She's breathing," he told everyone. Roger picked Mimi up. She barely weighed a thing.

"Get out of my way," Roger ordered. The Bohemians parted so he could put Mimi on the couch. "Someone get me a cool washcloth." Mark went to get Roger what he needed. "God Meems, what's happened to you?" Taking a deep breath, Joanne came forward.

"Roger, Maureen and I think we know what's wrong with Mimi." Roger looked up. "Here." Joanne handed Roger the piece of paper on anorexia. Roger shook his head.

"No, this isn't right," he insisted. "Mimi's too smart to be anorexic." Mark put a damp washcloth on Mimi's forehead.

"I'm sorry, Roger," Joanne said quietly. Roger stared at Mimi and shook his head.

"Lord Meems, what the hell are you doing to yourself?" he muttered.

Moaning, Mimi opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was Roger hovering over her. His green eyes were focused directly on her. He seemed relieved that she was alright.

"What happened?" Mimi asked weakly.

"You passed out, sweetie," Maureen replied.

"Again?"

"Again? What do you mean again?" Roger demanded. Mimi closed her eyes. "Mimi, what do you mean?" Roger asked in a gentler tone as he stroked Mimi's cheek. "Talk to me, babe."

"Mimi, we're only trying to help," Collins said. Mimi shook her head.

"I don't want to talk about it," she muttered before rolling over to face the back of the couch.

"Mimi, please," Roger begged. Mimi pulled the blanket draped over her tighter around her. "We're just trying to help you out."

"I don't need any help!"

"Yes you do. Come on, let's get you to bed." Roger hoped that Mimi would talk once they were alone. He gently forced Mimi to roll over and picked her up. Mimi simply buried her face in his shoulder. She didn't have the energy to fight back or the guts to look at her friends.

Roger laid Mimi down on their bed and covered her up with another blanket. Mimi closed her eyes. Roger sat on the edge of the bed.

"You don't have to baby-sit me, you know," Mimi told him weakly.

"Are you sure?"

"You go back out with everyone else. I just want sleep." Roger kissed Mimi's forehead. Mimi reached up and stroked his cheek. Her hand was thin and bony.

"We'll talk after you get some rest. I love you."

"I love you too." Mimi closed her eyes. Roger sat by her side until she fell asleep to make sure that she'd be alright.

The rest of the Bohemians were all gathered in the other room. Collins was reading the paper on anorexia. When he was done, he sighed sadly.

"This sounds exactly like Mimi," he said as he put the paper on the coffee table. Maureen looked up from where she was curled up on the couch with Joanne. "But what I don't get is why."

"April was the same way," Maureen said quietly. Joanne rubbed her back soothingly. Roger came out of the bedroom. Maureen got up and gave him a hug. "Are you okay?" she asked. Roger nodded.

"I'm fine, Mo," he insisted. As a friendly gesture, Maureen kissed his cheek softly.

"Don't you worry; we'll all help you with Mimi." Roger pulled away from Maureen.

"She's, uh, sleeping right now. I, I can't believe it." Roger was on the verge of a breakdown. April's bulimia had been tough on him, and now this.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:**

Mimi felt someone sit on the edge of the bed next to her. When she opened her eyes, she saw Roger sitting there.

"What time is it?" she asked. Roger kissed her cheek.

"A little after ten in the morning," he replied. "I brought you some toast."

"I don't want any." Roger sighed.

"Please, Mimi, for me."

"I can't!"

"Why not?"

"I'll get fat, and then I'll be ugly."

"That's not possible," Roger said quietly. "Come on, sit up. You need to eat something." Mimi tried to sit up but was too weak. Roger helped her and used his pillow to prop her up. "There you go, now eat this."

"Please don't make me."

"Mimi, I'm begging you; eat this." Mimi feebly picked up a piece of toast and took a small bite. "There you go." Mimi slowly ate the piece of toast.

Several minutes later, Mimi finished up a piece of toast. Roger gently kissed the back of her thin hand.

"There you go," he said. "Doesn't it feel good to have something in your system?" Mimi leaned back against the wall. Suddenly, she lurched forward.

"Oh God, I think I'm going to be sick." Roger grabbed the trashcan in the corner and held it up. Mimi emptied the minescule contents of her stomach. Roger rubbed her back. This was all too much like April.

Mimi fell back against the pillows behind her. Roger put the trashcan on the floor and turned his attention back to Mimi.

"It's okay, we'll try some soup in a few hours," he said. Mimi closed her eyes. "You rest; you need to regain your energy." Roger helped Mimi lie down. "There you go."

"Will you stay with me?" Roger crawled into bed next to Mimi.

"Of course." Mimi curled up against Roger. She was so small compared to his strong form.

When Mimi woke up several hours later, Roger wasn't there. It took Mimi nearly all her energy just to roll over. She felt a headache coming on. Mimi closed her eyes. That helped with the pain some. Soon, she was asleep again.

Roger carefully cradled Mimi's upper body in his arms and tilted her head back. He put her AZT in her mouth and gave her some water. Mimi opened her eyes partially.

"It's only your AZT," Roger told her. Mimi swallowed the water and small pill. "I have some soup for you." Mimi didn't object as Roger spoon fed her the chicken noodle soup. The warm liquid was soothing to Mimi, who was freezing. Roger carefully fed Mimi so he didn't make a mess. He was fully prepared to react if she felt sick again. Once he was done, Roger laid Mimi down. "Feel better?" Mimi nodded.

"A little," she replied.

"Mimi, I want to talk to you about this."

"Not now, please, I don't want to talk about it." Roger ran his fingers through Mimi's hair. It had lost its usual shine.

"We're going to have to talk about this at some point you know." Mimi nodded feebly.

"I know," she said reluctantly. "I want to rest now." Roger stood up and grabbed the empty bowl of soup off the nightstand.

"Just shout if you need anything."

"I will." Roger glanced at Mimi before going out to the front room.

Roger put the bowl in the sink and flopped down across the couch. Collins looked up from the papers he was supposed to be grading.

"How is she?" he asked. Roger ran his fingers through his hair.

"She's resting, that's all she has the energy to do right now," he replied.

"Have you talked to her about it?" Roger shook his head.

"She's not going to be ready to talk about it ever. You have to force her to talk to you." Roger got to his feet.

"_I'm_ not ready to talk to her about this!" he exclaimed hotly. Roger took several deep breaths to calm himself down. "I want to know what's going through Mimi's head, but at the same time, I don't."

"Like it or not, you and Mimi are going to have to sit down and have a long talk about this whole ordeal."

"I know," Roger admitted softly.

Roger opened the door to his room. He could just barely make out the gentle rise and fall of Mimi's chest. When Roger flipped on the light, Mimi moaned.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you," Roger said quietly.

"What time is it?"

"A little after eleven. Do you want some soup?" Mimi shook her head. "Do you want anything?"  
"I'm cold." Roger pulled out one of his sweatshirts for Mimi. He helped her sit up and pulled the sweatshirt over her thin shoulder.

"There you go, is that better?"

"Yeah, thank you." Roger helped Mimi lay back down and kissed her forehead. "Are you coming to bed now?"

"Let me get changed first." Roger stripped down to his boxers and crawled into bed. "Goodnight, babe." Mimi cuddled against Roger.

"Goodnight," she muttered contently.

**A/N: **Next chapter is the last, believe it or not!

Tina101


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:**

Mark opened the door to Roger and Mimi's room. Roger had run down to the Food Emporium and asked Mark to check on Mimi while he was gone.

"Roger?" Mimi mumbled sleepily.

"No, it's Mark."

"Where's Roger?"  
"He had to run to the store. Do you need anything?"

"I'm so cold." Mark stopped to think. It was critical that they kept Mimi's body temperature up, and he knew that.

"I think I may have something to help you warm up. I'll be right back." Mark left and returned a few minutes later with something folded in his arms. He plugged it into the wall next to the bed and opened up a large blanket. He spread it out over Mimi. Right away, she felt its warmth.

"What is it?" she asked.

"An electric blanket; it should keep you warm." Mimi smiled gratefully.

"Thanks, Marky." Mark cracked a small smile.

"Anytime; now, you get some rest. I'll be in the other room, so shout if you need anything at all."

"I will thanks." Mimi slid deep under the warmth of the electric blanket. For the first time in ages, she actually felt warm and cozy.

By the time Roger got back from the Food Emporium, Mark was busy sorting through boxes of old film.

"Is Mimi awake?" he asked.

Without looking up from his work, Mark replied, "She should be. Why don't you go and see for yourself?" Roger put the bags of groceries on the table and took Mark's advice.

When Mimi saw Roger, she was all smiles. Roger leaned over and gave her a quick kiss before sitting down next to her.

"I think we should talk about this," he said. Mimi shook her head.

"I'm not ready to."

"You're never going to be ready to talk about this, and we _need_ to talk about it." Mimi hoisted herself up into a sitting position. Roger pulled the pile of blankets off her lap. "Come on; let's stretch your legs a little." Mimi swung her thin legs over the side of the bed. She was still in the jeans from when she had passed out. Mimi clung to Roger's arm and stood up. Her legs were shaky and weak, and her jeans hung loosely from her hips. "There you go, take your time." Roger helped Mimi walk over to the full length mirror hanging on the closet door.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you see?" Mimi stared at the ground. "Just tell me what you see in the mirror, baby."

"I see you, and I see me."

"What do you see in you?" Tears stared rolling down Mimi's hollow cheeks. Roger rubbed her arm. "It's okay, just tell me."

"I see a fat, ugly woman who's not worth your time." Roger wrapped his arms around Mimi and held her as close as possible.

"You're worth every second of my life," he whispered in her ear. Mimi buried her face in Roger's arm. Her tears stained the sleeve of his gray hoodie.

"I wanted to be perfect for you. I thought that you thought that I was so fat and you'd leave me." Roger rubbed Mimi's back.

"I'd never leave you. I made that mistake once already. You're my world."

"I'm sorry I fucked up." Roger tipped Mimi's face up so he could talk to her face to face and look in her deep, soulful eyes.

"Don't be; just promise me that you'll try to get better." Mimi nodded. Roger pressed their lips together in a tender kiss to seal the deal. It was a simple kiss, but it still held all the passion the couple shared for each other.

Several days later, Mimi was still confined to bed, thanks to Roger. Roger opened the door to their room.

"I'm going to go out with Mark for a few hours; maybe get a drink or two at the Life," he said. Mimi nodded.

"Okay, you behave yourself."

"Me? Please! I _always _behave myself." Mimi snorted. "Whatever, Joanne's going to stop by to be with you." Mimi sat up straighter.

"I'll be fine on my own," she insisted. Roger put his hand on Mimi's one cheek and kissed the other.

"I know, but Joanne offered. Do you want anything at the store?" Mimi stopped to think.

"Something other than soup. I mean, _anything_ but soup." Roger gave Mimi another kiss.

"I'll see what I can do. Do you think you can keep something else besides soup down?"

"I can try."

"I dunno…" Mimi began to pout.

"Please?"

"Maybe." Roger patted Mimi's leg and stood up. "Now I'm going to go. I love you."

"I love you too." Mimi slid down under the blankets, and Roger left to go out with Mark.

Mimi figured that she must have dozed off, because the next thing she knew, someone was sitting on the bed next to her. Moaning, Mimi opened her eyes.

"Roger?" she mumbled.

"No sweetie, it's Joanne. Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." Mimi sat up. Joanne noted how shaky she was.

"It's fine. All I do is sleep anyway."

"You sound like Maureen." Mimi cracked a smile.

"Where is Maureen?"

"At home doing Lord only knows what. She's probably going to stop by in a little while complaining that she's bored and lonely."

"But you love her." Joanne nodded. Her eyes seemed to gaze past Mimi for a second as she thought about Maureen.

"Yeah, I love my bitchy diva."

"At least she's not so over-protective like Roger. He only lets me get up to go to the bathroom and shower. I've barely been out of this room." Joanne stood up.

"Come on, you've got to be bored out of your mind in here. I'll help you." Mimi stood up feebly. She trudged carefully across the room while Joanne kept a supporting hand on her upper arm. Mimi was frustrated that she felt like she was fine but didn't have the energy to do much.

Mimi sat down on the couch. She had never taken going from room to room for granted before. Joanne sat in one of the chairs.

"God, it feels good to get out of that damn room," Mimi sighed. "Roger's so fucking overprotective."

"His heart's in the right place. Besides, he almost has the right to be worried about you after what happened." Mimi stared out into space for a few seconds. The guild from her actions had just hit her. Joanne realized what she had said and reached over to comfort Mimi. "I'm sorry, sweetie, that came out wrong." Mimi shook her head.

"You're right; I brought this all on myself on my own." Mimi started to shiver. "Could you get a blanket for me off my bed?" Joanne stood up.

"Of course." Joanne got two blankets for Mimi and wrapped them around the smaller woman. "There you go." Mimi smiled gratefully.

"Thanks, Jo." Mimi pulled the blankets tighter around her thin shoulders.

When Roger got back to the loft with Mark, Mimi was still on the couch talking to Joanne. Roger sat down next to Mimi and gave her a quick kiss.

"I'm not even going to ask what you're doing out here," he said. Mimi slid onto his lap and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Joanne helped me. She's not trying to smother me," she replied. Roger slid his hand into Mimi's back pocket. Joanne stood up.

"That's my cue to leave," she said. "Bye you guys." The three Bohemians said goodbye to Joanne, and she left. Mimi went back to cuddling with Roger, and Mark tossed a bag of pretzels on the couch.

"We picked these up at the store for you," he said. Mimi smiled.

"Thanks you guys." Mimi opened the bag and popped a pretzel in her mouth. Never had something tasted so wonderful in her life.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Mimi stepped up on the scale. Roger kept a reassuring hand on her shoulder the whole time.

"It's okay, it's not that bad," he assured. "Just open your eyes." Mimi opened her eyes. "There you go, baby." Mimi look down at the scale.

"Ninty-eight pounds," she said quietly. Roger kissed her cheek.

"I'm so proud of you," he murmured in her ear. Mimi smiled. "You've gained six pounds since the last time we weighed you. Good job." Mimi got down off the scale and leaned against Roger. "You're getting there, you're getting better." Mimi cuddled closer against Roger. She always felt safe and secure with his strong arms wrapped around her small form. Roger kissed the top of her head.

"Thank you Roger," Mimi mumbled contently. "I don't know what I'd do without you." Roger tightened his grip on Mimi. He didn't know what he'd do without out her either.

**The End**

**Thank You, Jonathan Larson**


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